Ashamed of Christianity

Pastor Eric Kregel

I have been embarrassed when people find out I am a Christian pastor. Don’t get me wrong: I love my job! I love being the pastor of Bethel Baptist, I love God, and love the work of the church. However, there are times when people ask me what I do for a living and something inside of me cringes, bracing itself for the delivery of the awkward news when I say, “I am a pastor of a Christian church.” Whether I was on an airplane and chatted with the person on my right or at a barbecue with my non-churched family or ran into someone doing chores, my vocation did not hold the same relish it did, say, 50 years ago. Why is that? Could it be there are fewer social advantages than there used to be associated with the Christian church? Could it be there is a new “dorky” level associated with Christian ministry? Or could it be that the “Christian” label, at times, is embarrassing itself? Recently, the Christian religion has been credited for starting wars, doing horrible things politically, and denying human rights ... all in the name of Christ. And with bestsellers with the titles ‘Why God is not Good’, ‘The God Delusion’, ‘The Christian Lie’ - the church’s public relation department has to work overtime in our present age. Throw in benign, but still goofy, things like ‘Wrestling for Christ’, ‘Testamints’ (Christian candy that’s mint flavoured), or selling books like ‘The 1-Minute Bible’ - I was feeling ashamed of the church. For me, I always liked God but had felt the pressure to distance myself from the religiousosity of Christianity. I used to say, “For I am not ashamed of the Gospel, just some of those who peddle it.” Like a parent whose small children suddenly decided to run naked through West Edmonton Mall, my feelings concerning many Christians had been, “Yeah, they’re with me ... I guess.” In my heart, I judged the church for not being what I wanted it to be and, the neurotic thing about this judgment, is I wasn’t condemning people different than me but people just like me. Essentially, I’m judging ... me! For those who know the Bible, have figured out I was in the wrong because we ought not to judge others (Matthew 7:1). But I couldn’t help it! Until last April, God spoke to me during our Vacation Bible School. We ran an after school program for the community, themed ‘Marketplace Jerusalem’. The purpose was to take children back to the time of Jesus. Throughout the program of games and crafts and songs, there was an ongoing drama about Jesus’ teaching, crucifixion, and resurrection. The whole week culminated with an actor playing Jesus intruding our singing. He just rose from the grave and proclaimed, “Go, therefore, and tell everyone everything you saw here!” The actor was a recent Christian university grad who wore a paper beard, bathrobe and a long-haired wig. He wasn’t meticulous in historicity, but did the job of conveying that he was Jesus. When he interrupted, he delivered his line but was immediately rushed by a couple of our older children. Seeing the paper beard and recognizing the youth earlier, they wanted to deconstruct it (“I know you’re not Jesus! Jesus doesn’t have a paper beard!”) - without being mature enough the recognize the whole pretending thing associated with drama. The young man could not complete his simple line, for the boys were bent on yanking off his beard and wig. He did what, I believe, Christ would do: he put one of the boys in a playful headlock and continued his delivery. With the boy squirming in Christ’s embrace, God spoke to me: “Eric,” he said. “That’s you. Sometimes you’re so busy being a critic that I have to put you in a headlock so that I can deliver my message.” I no longer misquote Romans 1:16a that says, “For I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God to save everyone who believes.” You see, shame has nothing to do with the grace of Christ: shame for Christianity (which our culture seems to be excelling at) or shame for other Christians (which I had). If Christianity is really the Gospel of grace, then that grace applies to everyone in and outside of the church. Being a critic isn’t part of the message of the church; rather, it detracts and, thus, might deserve a headlock from God.