Time heals nothing

Pastor Don Porter

Jesus once told a group of listeners, “Blessed are the peace-makers, for they will be called Children of God.” (Matthew 5:9) Most of us have learned how to be courteous to others - how to speak kindly, avoid hurting their feelings, and appear to take an interest in them. We may even be skilled in pretending to show compassion when we hear of other’s needs, or to become indignant when we learn of injustice. But God calls us to real and sincere love that goes far beyond being hypocritical and polite. Sincere love requires concentration and effort. It means helping others become better people. It demands our time, money and personal involvement - a relationship. Blessed are the peace-makers! Later, Paul, an apostle of Jesus, wrote this in our Bible: “Live in harmony with each other. Do not try to act important, but enjoy the company of ordinary people. And do not think you know it all! Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honourable. Do your part to live in peace with everyone, as much as possible. Dear friends, never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God. For it is written, ‘I will take vengeance; I will repay those who deserve it,’ says the Lord. Instead, do what the Scriptures say: ‘If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink, and they will be ashamed of what they have done to you.’ Do not let evil get the best of you, but conquer evil by doing good.” (Romans 12:16-21) Have you had any conflict at your house this week? Be honest. Maybe it was one of those “he said, she said” things. First came the noise of quarreling, then even worse - the deafening silence. Do you know what I mean? So much of the pain in life flows from relational conflict. We think it will go away if we just sweep it under the rug or flip some pages on the calendar, but we cannot avoid it. We need to resolve it! God is all about His children living in peace. Romans 12:16-21 outlines seven steps to put conflict to rest. Paul wrote: 1. Be aggressive: Be of the same mind toward one another. If you are not on good terms with somebody, go to him or her and work it out immediately. 2. Be humble: Do not be haughty in mind. Do not be wise in your own estimation. Want a quick end to your conflict? Never allow yourself to be too proud to listen to the other person. 3. Be positive: Never pay back evil for evil. Respect what is right in the sight of all. Fight fair! Focus on the others’ strengths, not their weaknesses. 4. Be peaceable: If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with everyone. Cut through all the pride and say, “I want to work this out.” Seek peace. 5. Be forgiving: Never take your own revenge. Forgiveness is moving from, “You owe me” to “You owe me nothing.” There are no enduring relationships without forgiveness. Forgiveness is the choice to release others from the obligation that resulted when they hurt you. Initiate reconciliation and look for good results. 6. Be challenging: If your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing they will be feel shame, because of their attitude toward you. In other words, wow them with sincere kindness! 7. Be strong: Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. When we let God download these seven things into our lives, a lot of great things will happen in our relationships. If this speaks to your heart, you may want to pray, something like this: “Dear God, what do these verses teach me about you? How have you called me to change? Which of the above seven steps do I need to focus on in resolving conflict? Which one do I do well? Which one is a struggle? Thank you for such a clear peace plan in Romans 12. Help me to know, God, that the real healing and joy comes to me when I do what Your Word says. Overcome my will with your grace, and create the desire in me to take these steps of obedience with those you have called me to love.” Time heals nothing! Get your conflict resolved today!