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Saying good-bye a part of life…that sucks!
Theresa Seraphim g
Spotlight
Forgive me if I both sigh a bit and smile fondly at the present time.
Between the end of June and now, I have said good-bye to three people I had gotten to know (at least a bit) during the year I have lived in Slave Lake.
Soon, I will be bidding adieu to a fourth.
After the first person, I felt a bit down. After the second, I found myself wondering what the point is of getting to know people if they’re just going to move on.
Then a couple of people made good points to me. The first is that Slave Lake is a transient community. People come to work for awhile and then, when something closer to friends or family comes along, they leave. One cannot blame them. In fact, I realize the true test of a friend is to be happy for the person who is going to a situation which is better for them.
The second is a cliché and yet, like clichés are, it is true: saying good-bye is a fact of life. It sucks, but there it is. I began to realize it’s okay to feel down about the loss of someone I like. I need to go through that grief. But I also need to remember that life goes on, and that (somehow) although those people are gone, they remain a part of me as I keep in touch with them and savour the memories. Also, other people will come into my life with whom I can do fun things, and I find that I can accept that and savour it.
That’s why today when I met with the third departee for a final lunch, I felt like sighing and like laughing at the same time. The good news is, we did a lot of the latter during the meal. I will do some of the former in the next while, for sure.
But she’ll be closer to family, which is what she wants, so I’m happy for her (I’ve heard that wanting the other’s happiness is a sign of truly caring for that person, which, if true, makes me happy and grateful in this case). I’m grateful for the weekly lunches we had in Slave Lake. Since we were both new to the community (she more than I), those were times of getting to know one another – which, I might add, was not difficult, as she is an outgoing person and we think alike on many things and have had many similar experiences. I look forward to maintaining contact with her, which will definitely mitigate the sadness I feel at her departure.
The fourth person, a friendly coworker with a superb sense of humour, will leave Slave Lake soon.
I now feel ready to say good-bye to him. He, too, is going to a place which puts him closer to his family, and although I shall miss his laughter, if the move is good for him, that’s what matters. I will say good-bye, being happy for him.
And through the “This sucks!” attitude, I will also be happy for me – at what I’ve received and what I’ve learned through all these people. Because our lives have crossed paths, I am richer. I am losing them physically, but the bond will not be broken.
Don’t be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.
– Richard Bach
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