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Editorial: Tis the season, of course
Commentary by Jeff Burgar
for South Peace News
I greeted my friendly restaurant buddy with the usual.
“So how’s business?’’ I said as I chomped into the store’s specialty, a 3/4 pound greaseburger with double cheese, double onions, mushrooms, secret sauce and of course, double grease. Delicious!
“Terrible,’’ he said. “Really bad.’’
“Bad?,’’ I repeated, as the secret sauce and double grease dribbled down my chin, dripped onto my jacket, and ran in a small stream down one of my pant legs.
I noticed my chin was slightly warmer, but ignored it. The aroma and taste of the fried onions in particular had most of my attention. My friend tried to shake me out of my state of gourmet bliss.
“Ba-ba-bad,’’ he said in a gravelly voice, doing his best to imitate James Thorogood in the tune, “Bad to the Bone.’’
“Ba-ba-bad to the bone,’’ he said.
So there I was, caught between a mouthful of mushrooms, blended with the double grease, pan fried onions and of course, the secret sauce, a buddy doing the worst imitation of The Destroyers ever heard. Food was trying to find it’s way down. A hearty laugh was forcing it’s way up.
I’m surprised 3/4 pounds of delicious didn’t explode out of my mouth, all over my friend and the four customers in the next booth!
“Heck, if it’s that bad,’’ I said, “take a week or so off in January and hit the beach in Mexico. Go on a cruise. Sun yourself in Cuba.’’
My friend thought about that for a minute.
I was expecting him to say, “Can’t afford it.’’ Instead, he surprised me with, “I would love to do that. But you know something, I really can’t let my customers, the few I still have anyway, down. They need me to stay open. You know, so they have some place to go, get some good food, meet some friends. This is kind of their second home.’’
“Ah,’’ I said, “if only everybody thought that way. I mean, it’s so big of you to lose money, or break even, just to sort of, you know, get the job done. We should be out spreading the word. Maybe others, in business and government, will take up the challenge, work for nothing for a couple of weeks or so, just to lighten the load on everybody else.’’
“Great idea,’’ he said. “In fact, I’m going to ask my staff tomorrow.’’
For some strange reason, a slight odor of manure wafted through the place, mingled with onions, charbroiled ground beef, and spruce from the Christmas tree parked in a corner.
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