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Residential school survivors remember
Mac Olsen
for South Peace News
Although they may sympathize, people who never went through the residential school system could truly understand the emotional, spiritual and/or physical trauma endured by the ones who did.
But the suffering reaches beyond the survivors, to their families and succeeding generations. Whether it’s the lack of the parenting skills or family bonding, or the survivors’ inability to discuss the past, other family members may suffer as much, if not more than the survivors.
To help them heal, the Aboriginal Healing Foundation (AHF) provided money for counselling, which included East Prairie Métis Settlement for eight years. However, the program came to an end March 31 and there is no successor. Yvonne Ferens, the project coordinator for 6½ years, is concerned the people she helped are far from completing their healing journeys.
“I know the survivors of the residential school system have been supportive of me,” says Ferens. “But it’s been harder to reach the inter-generationally impacted members. That’s why we had different kinds of programming, to reach all the age groups.”
Three East Prairie residents – Marcel Auger, Liz BigCharles and Margaret Supernault – were willing to discuss their experiences with the residential school system. One common thread running through their stories is the difficulties they had in later life, but also their ability to overcome adversity.
Auger was enrolled at the residential school in Grouard for one year, at the age of seven. He remembers living with the constant fear of being disciplined, forced to speak English and the loss of his cultural identity.
“It was rough because I didn’t know how to speak English,” says Auger. “They didn’t want you to speak your language. I remembered how to pray, but I didn’t understand what I was saying.”
Auger returned to his family changed for the worse. Although he respected his parents, he had a difficult relationship with his older brother. Moreover, his outlook on the world had become harder and he was cruel to the ones around him, which lasted 25-30 years.
“I think the reason I became mean was because of the way I was treated in the residential school system. There was nothing you could do about it,” he says.
Although Auger didn’t have nightmares, he drank for quite a few years, trying to escape the memories. But one day, Auger realized how badly he mistreated others and felt deep regret.
Auger changed for better by committing to a healing journey without the assistance. As a result, he has become a more compassionate person and doesn’t drink anymore.
Although it’s hard to forgive the residential school system for mistreating him – Auger would like to have had the opportunity to ask why they did it – he’s trying to put it behind him. He encourages other survivors to forgive the people who wronged them. Also, they should embark on their own healing journeys, whatever form it takes.
BigCharles, too, went to Grouard for one year, when she was seven or eight, although she didn’t discuss the particulars of what happened to her.
“There was a lot I couldn’t remember, but now I’m starting to get flashbacks,” says BigCharles. Her parents also went through the residential school system, which impacted her relationship with them.
Such experiences could have impacted her relationship with her own children, but BigCharles was determined to not take it out on them and give them the love she didn’t receive from her parents. It was only years later she was able to talk to them about it.
“My nightmares are becoming less and less every time I talk about it,” says BigCharles.
She felt contempt for the residential school system, but has learned to forgive as part of the healing. But of greater concern is keeping the AHF program going, as the healing isn’t finished for her and others.
“Keep the program going,” says BigCharles. “We’re going to need it for as long as possible. A lot of people are probably not even half way through their healing journey.”
The biggest impacts of the residential school system for Supernault were the loneliness and the long periods away from her family. She went to Grouard for 10 years and was allowed to see them only a few times per year, including one day at Christmas. Even when they were in the same place at the same time, there was often no communication between them.
“I’d see my mother at church, but I couldn’t talk to her,” says Supernault.
Moreover, she felt her mother didn’t want her, nor did her mother wish to talk to her about anything related to the school. But Supernault wasn’t aware the priests pressured her parents to enrol her and an older sister in Grouard.
Supernault had nightmares, such as being confined in a small space. But her experience with school wasn’t totally negative, as she learned reading and writing, how to cook, sew and other tasks.
Nonetheless, what happened to Supernault impacted her relationship with her children. Supernault believed she raised them well by providing a good home for them, which included the strict upbringing she received at the school.
But in their eyes, they lacked hugs and other family bonding from her.
“I didn’t show love to them, they told me I didn’t,” says Supernault. She can trace it back to her own parents, who also didn’t offer it to her.
Supernault, too, embarked on a healing journey and feels she’s near the end, although some things will always be difficult to cope with. She would like the AHF program to continue in some form to help the next generation.
Whatever the outcomes for all concerned, Ferens believes she has made a difference in many lives. Ferens hopes another program and money are provided, although other agencies are willing to offer their services if the survivors and their families wish to continue their healing journeys, she adds.
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