Jeff Burgar

Frankly, looking up to see the neighbourhood smiley face peering in the window, collecting personal information every day and every night, would be unsettling, to say the least.

How about if the same “friendly person” walks in the door, listens in on phone calls, copies all the texts and e-mails one sends, records every conversation in the living room, bedroom and kitchen table? As said, constantly, every day and every night.

And then sells all of it? Friendly? Or creepy?

Actually, that’s exactly what Facebook and Google and many others are doing. Users, we are sure, are very relieved to see that billionaire founder and boss of the company, Mark Zuckerberg, is looking out for their rights.

Yes! Indeed he is! He says so!

Last week, he told United States congressmen that. Over and over and over again during hearings about the 87 million Americans and almost one million Canadians who had their personal information scanned out of the Facebook databases. At the same time, he said enough to confirm what many people already know.

Any reasonably Internet savvy person should interpret his answers as, “Sorry folks. Facebook and Google have everything on you. Right down to the name of your dog and boyfriend, the last time you drank too much, what you really think about your fellow workers and what kind of car you will probably buy next year. And that, my happy suckers, is just for starters.”

This ‘information’ or data was apparently sold to ‘bad actors’ for whatever reasons and uses they wanted to make of it. Interestingly, Zuck himself said this was really the business of Facebook. The more Facebook knows about you, the better they are able to sell their targeted ads.

He apologized for selling to ‘bad actors’. Then he said “his team” will do a better job selling your information only to good people. One assumes this means companies like Toyota, Air Canada, Carnival Cruises, and Madam Tussaud’s Wax Museum, the State of California, tax collectors, and PETA.

Not, as Facebook has already shown, to entities like the National Rifle Association, Planned Parenthood, or anybody who likes Donald Trump.

“Are you in favour of laws to protect private information?” asked one congressman.

Zuckerberg answered, “Well sure. I’m in favour, in principle, of protecting private information.”

This is the kind of answer one would expect from the makers of O Henry bars if they were asked about laws that would stop people from getting fat.

“Yes indeed ma’am. In principle it’s a great idea!”

Zuckerberg went on and on, dodging and ducking and never really saying Facebook users’ personal data was sacred. Because of course, it is not sacred. The entire, whole Facebook business is built on knowing you. Selling your information. Selling your secrets. Selling your likes and hates and prejudices and whatever. Wow!

Ladies and gentlemen, the creep is watching every move. Check your privacy settings. And don’t, repeat don’t, believe them for a second.