The Page – April 10, 2024

The Page plans on getting rich very quickly!
He is on the verge of inventing a new dog food that tastes like a mail carrier’s ankle!
Is it any wonder The Page is still poor?

It reminds The Page of a classic Far Side cartoon. It involved the caption “Porcupine on a Stick” and had cave men trying to eat it, quills and all!
Ouch! That would hurt!

And, did you know The Page’s ancestor actually invented the first wheel?
The only problem is, it was square! Years later, some idiot came along and made it into a circle!

Further to the above, it is kind of like the second inventor of the toilet seat. He was the one who cut a hole in the first one.
Oh, the pictures that just came into The Page’s mind!

The Page was pleased to get some moral support the other day.
The Page was told by a disgruntled reader he was the “perfect idiot” by some reader.
The Page’s friend stuck up for him.
“That’s not true,” he said. No one is perfect!”
At least the Page thinks his friend was sticking up for him!

On a brighter note, The Page “officially” became a member of the Old Fogey’s Club March 26.
Yes, The Page received his first pension cheque deposit!
The Page admits to being quite thrilled. He has paid into the fund for years so now it is time to get some moola back. With the increased cost of living for everything these days, the extra income will be a welcome relief.
Of course, utility companies will have to wait. There are pizzas, burgers, onion rings, ice cream, and Chinese food to buy!

Women’s bouncy ball (basketball in layman’s terms) is getting quite popular.
The Page actual likes the women’s game more than the men’s game. The women work the ball inside the paint (key) more prompting more physical play. The men tend to run and up and down the court shooting three-point shots all night. Boring!
It is worth noting the April 1 American college game between Iowa and Louisiana State University in Uncle Sam Country drew a larger American TV audience (12.3 million) than any NBA game except Game 5 of the finals last year. It also drew more viewers than any MLB baseball game including the World Series or NHL game including the Stanley Cup playoffs last year.
Step aside, men, there is a new show in town!
Of course, nothing touches the NFL – the juggernaut of all sports leagues. Over 90 of the 100 most-watched shows last year were NFL games.

Anyone remember Rick Daw, who used to live in High Prairie?
He was in attendance at the spectacular explosion and fire at George F. Bishop Equipment Ltd. on Feb. 2, 1964. He contacted South Peace News asking if we had articles on file. We did and passed them along to him.
But The Page, being the curious sort, asked Daw why he wanted them.
“I was one of the employees at the time and just wanted to read the newspaper articles,” he wrote us.
The value of newspapers. Where else would such history be recorded?

Yes, The Page is still whining about the increase of gasoline prices at the pumps.
April 1, the federal government increased the carbon tax and the provincial government added a fuel tax they had earlier suspended. Now all Albertans pay more at the pumps.
A source tells The Page that in 2022 the federal carbon tax bureaucracy cost $82.6 million and employed 465 bureaucrats. That, folks, is a lot of jobs. There are no numbers for 2023 expenses but the costs certainly will not be less.
But here’s the real kick in the teeth. MPs not only hiked the price of fuel but also gave themselves a rise to the tune of 4.2 per cent. This amounts to between $8,000 and $14,000 per year per MP.
Now, unless the Page was sleeping, nowhere in Peace River – Westlock MP Arnold Viersen’s well warranted anti-carbon tax rants did he once mention his raise.
Hmmm! I wonder why!

What is the difference between a teacher and a train?
One says, “Spit out your gum,” and the other says. “Choo, choo, choo!”

Still have not heard too many Canada geese flying overhead.
Does this mean a late, late spring?

Have a great week, everyone!

The Page lifted this photo from Facebook of a truck that plunged through the ice on Lesser Slave Lake. The Page’s spies say the owner is from High Prairie. Hope he got the truck out in good condition.

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