The Page – August 30, 2023

Let the banners fly and the bells ring! Plan the parade route! Bake a cake and bring out the beer!
“The Streak” is over!
The Edmonton Elks finally won a home game after 1,415 days! They defeated the Ottawa Redblacks 30-20 Aug. 27. Wow!
Now Calgary fans are moping. They should be scared. The Elks play the Stampeders in the annual home-and-home Labour Day series. If the 2-9 Elks sweep, they pass 3-8 Calgary in the standings. The Elks would be 4-9 and the Stampeders 3-10.
Be afraid, Stamps fans!


The High Prairie Regals are preparing a bid to re-enter the NPHL. The bid is supposed to be submitted by the end of August.
The NPHL meets Sept. 9 in Fairview. It is expected that the bid will be either accepted or rejected at that time. Stay tuned!


An oldie but goodie! The new manager asked his retiring boss for some advice.
“Give a person more work than he can do, and he will do it. When they do, give them a bonus or a raise or pat on the back. But give a person less work than he can do, he probably won’t even do that. That is your mistake. Not the person’s.”
The Page sort of likes that less work avenue but not the pay that goes along with it!


A High Prairie resident called regarding last week’s editorial on lack of plans for disasters.
Our reader disagrees with the writer. To paraphrase: “Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and Alberta Premier Jason Kenney chose to not use the resources available (during COVID). They exist. They chose not to use them!’
We appreciate the input!


The High Prairie Community Beautification Association handed out its awards last week. Awards for Best Landscaped Yard, Best Manicured Yard, Most Colourful Yard, and Most Improved Yard, as well as several other Best Yards were handed out.
Congratulations to all the winners!
Along the same note, congratulations also to the 2021 M.D. of Smoky River Albert Fontaine Beautiful Yard Award winners, Denis and Colleen Cloutier from McLennan.
In case you were wondering, it is 2021. We double-checked. I guess they are a bit behind.
The Page figures the HP Beautification group could have a similar award for Big Lakes County residents. Why not? Lots of terrific yards out there! It will be discussed at their next meeting.


Lots of compliments on the completed paving on the Sunset House Road southwest of High Prairie.
“Smooth as glass,” is the comment often heard.
The Page hears it is so smooth police are considering putting patrol car out there to collect fines from speeders. Just kidding!
Next, Highway 2A from Triangle to the Winagami Lake turnoff should be completed soon.


This old guy goes to the bar and orders three beers. He takes a sip from each one in turn. When empty, he orders again. He does this for several days.
“You know,” says the bartender to the old man. “If you order one drink it will not go flat. It will taste better.”
“I appreciate that,” says the old man. ‘But I have one brother in Dubai and one in Canada. We agreed we would each order three beers and drink them this way until we are together again.”
This goes on for a month until one day the old man orders only two beers. Assuming the worst, the bartender approaches the old man.
“Sir, I notice you only ordered two beers today. I am so sorry for your loss.”
“What loss?” says the old man. “I only ordered two beers because I quit drinking!”


Want to know why unicorns went extinct?
It is said Noah put two of each species on the ark. Apparently the first unicorn named Bruce found the second unicorn on the ark.
“I guess it’s up to us to repopulate the Earth,” he said. “What’s your name?”
“Arnold!”


Did you hear about the 90-year-old woman complaining?
Apparently, she pees at 6 a.m. each morning and has her bowel movement at 6:30 a.m. every morning.
The problem is, she doesn’t wake up until 7 a.m.!


Have a great week and enjoy the weather!

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